Do I have to be a Grown Up?

Someone recently made the comment that if you only read my blog then you'd think my kids were delightful all the time. Well, today I'm in the mood to correct that imbalance. I don't think that I've completely lost it too many times in my life.
I distinctly remember one night where baby Alex wouldn't stop crying for hours and it took every tiny little bit of self control I had to place him gently in his crib, walk away, and close the door. I'm pretty sure I sat on the patio for a solid hour where I couldn't hear him cause it was safer for him that way.
Then a few weeks ago Alex threw such a horrific temper tantrum that he busted a huge number of the capillaries in his face so that the next morning his face was covered in little red dots. I don't think I lost it, but Shaun was also home to temper some of my reaction to it.
Tonight I fought Alex for 4 hours. First he didn't want to clean his room. When I told him he wasn't having dinner until his two chores were done he sat in his room doing nothing until dinner... where he started throwing a fit about missing it. When he finally decided to just do it, Daddy had to go to Scouts and so he threw a fit about wanting to eat with Daddy. Then he didn't like dinner and wanted desert instead. Yeah right! He ate a couple bits and then decided he'd rather do without. Being the push over I am, I offered him one bite of the crisp even though he hadn't had enough dinner to merit it. So he threw a fit about wanting a whole bowl full...which led to not wanting to get his pj's on... and not wanting to brush his teeth... and not wanting to read scriptures... and wanting more then one book at bedtime. It took every bit of my patience and self control not to be rash and scream and yell and beat him. The whole way threw bedtime routine (which I only went through cause Annie was being an angel) I had to find the grown up inside me and be rational. I'm still furious. If he knows whats good for him he will be on his best behavior tomorrow. I know I love the little guy, but sometimes I wish he was still a baby so I could calmly put him in his crib and walk away until I got myself under control. I also know that tomorrow he'll do something adorable and I'll forget all about this whole night... maybe.